LuvTL Beauty and Lifestyle Blog

“Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.” ― Kahlil Gibran


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Waiting on a Life Sentence

These last four days haven’t been easy on her.  She was putting on a brave face, smiling through terse lips.   Her hazel eyes were glassy and tired – strained from holding back a flood of tears.  I looked to her, trying to find a way to ease her anguish, but when she caught me searching, she’d turn a way from my gaze and bury her pain down deeper.  

This was how my mother had been my whole life.  She had always tried to protect us from the darker truths of life, but we were older now and this was a truth we could not escape.  No amount of denial could change the fact that she was facing a possible death sentence… 

Cancer.

Kidney Cancer to be specific.  She had apparently first felt something was wrong about a year ago.  She had told our family doctor, who had proceeded to run the regular tests, determined it to be inflamation, and prescribed her an antibiotic – or at least that’s what she told me tester ray when I asked her how long this had been going on for.  Then, about two months ago, she had found blood in her urine, and one more time a month ago. They sent her to a specialist, who gave her a preliminary verdict, “It’s cancer.”
He wouldn’t give her details though until he knew for sure, because apparently the best thing for a doctor to do for a person facing a possible cancer diagnosis is to let their imagination play out possible scenarios of whats to come.  

It had been four days ago now.  It felt longer than that though – more like weeks ago.  I had tried to be strong and helpful, reassuring and comforting, but inside I felt very selfish.

How would I go on without her? How could I hold it together if something happened to her?  What would I do without my mother?  I wanted to give into my anxiety and panic attacks; crawl into bed and let my depression take hold, but then who would pull me out of it?  Not my mother, who was the one who usually shouldered the responsibility.  

So I just kept swallowing my selfishness and fear.  So many times I caught myself holding my breath, and had to remind myself to breath.  At times, my thoughts would wander down darker paths and would play out scenarios of possible futures without my mother – like, what I would need to do to arrange her funeral, or how I would handle my father dating a new woman.  I thought about possible treatments – would I need to give her my kidney?  She could have it in a second, but would that mean I would need to cancel my bariatric surgery that I had been waiting over a year for?  Can you have bariatric surgery with just one kidney? 

I would try to shake those thoughts out of my head and focus on the here and now.  It was really illogical to jump to so many conclusions, but my anxiety tried to make me face all scenarios.  

Then my heart would ache, as I wondered what must be racing through her head.  There was nothing I could do to take those thoughts away.  I couldn’t promise her everything would be okay, because I couldn’t guarantee that. 

Then there was my aunt.  Her memory which once invoked a bitter-sweet longing, had transformed into a threatening foreboding.  She had passed on eleven years ago, from a rare cancer that had taken her eye before spreading to her kidneys and taking her life.

My grandmother was not to know what was going on, my mother declared.  She hadn’t been well and my mother was worried her 88 year old heart could not handle the idea of losing another daughter.

So everyday, for four days, we carried on with our regular lives, acting as if we weren’t concerned, while feeling as though we were balancing on the edge of a cliff.  

Tuesday rolled around – the day of her test.  I had set my alarm so I could pretend I casually woke up in time to see her off.  The whole test took about an hour and a half, and when she came home and walked through the door, she had a half smile on her face.

I felt a rush of happiness go through me, but it was only for a second, then I saw her eyes start to water and she swallowed down a lump in her throat.

“Are you okay then?” I asked cautiously.  

She smiled again and shrugged.  “He doesn’t know.  He wants to do more tests.”


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Revlon Mega Multiplier Mascara Review 

It sounds like a super hero, doesn’t it?  The Mega Multiplier: With its powerful 360° tube technology, it creates a force field of water resistant fibers that wrap around your lashes – Saving your beauty look, one lash at a tiiiiimmmmeeee!

It kind of looks important too.  Its comes in a more oval tube rather than round; the cap is a strong, vibrant teal colour; and its name is emblazened on the front with a clean and simple, solid, white print.

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Self- Tanner – The Oompa Loompa Blunder

Last month, I got a sunburn after only working two hours in the yard.  I was wearing an SPF 60 that I had lathered on every hour.  Also, I’ve been known to get a burn during the winter months.  Light will literally bounce back off my skin and temporarily blind anyone standing around me.  

Needless to say, I’m white.  So there’s been times in the past that – as most fair maidens do – I have dreamed of not being a giant highlighter on the beach during the summer months.  When this happens, no matter how many times I’ve foolishly done it before, I will turn to self-tanners in hopes they will finally deliver on their promises.  

But this was not one of those times.  THIS WAS AN EVEN DUMBER MOMENT!  

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BH Cosmetics’ Modern Matte Eyeshadow Palette Swatches & Review

In my very humble opinion, I think that if you love creating make up looks, its important to have a few varying colors of matte shades to work with.  I’ve been in serious need of matte shadows, but finding a decent matte at a decent cost is no small task.  And lately, my funds are limited.

Luckily, the world has BH Cosmetics to come to the rescue!  A company that I love simply because it allows a broke girl like me to indulge in my beauty addiction.

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Spotlight Showcase! The Products I Wish I Had Money to Buy

Well, as much as I love beauty products, I’m not blessed with all the money in the world to afford to buy everything I want (And I got to say, it hurts a bit).  This means I can’t review them or show them off to my readers, and that’s just not right, because some of these products need to be seen and fully appreciated.

I mean, just because I can’t afford them doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have the chance to own them.  So I wanted to take a moment to mention a few products that I instantly fell in love with and hope to one day own.

Remember, I haven’t tried these products so I can’t guarantee they are as awesome as they look.  I am not affiliated with these companies and I haven’t been paid to promote or advertise these products.  I’m just a girl who loves beauty products!

For the Movie Lovers

The “Pirates of The Caribbean” Collection by Lorac

A tribute to the latest edition of the “Pirates of the Caribbean” movie series, this collection includes; an 18-pan palette of sexy, sultry shadows with a smokey black eyeliner; a cheek palette with several blushing hues, and 6 colorful, double ended lip colors.

With so many varying degrees of finishes and shades, this collection looks very versatile.

The collection items are sold separately, and can be purchased on most major beauty websites.

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The”Beauty and the Beast” Collection by Lorac

Another incredible collection that appeals to both the beauty and movie lovers out there.

I can definitely see how the creator chose the shades for this palette.  The earthy and regal tones are very reminiscent of the elegant backgrounds and characters in the fairy tale.   From Royal Blue to Majestic Yellow, these shades remind you of a royal garden.  The collection consists of a palette with 16 shadows; a 4 pan cheek set of peaches and pinks; 5 piece lipstick set; and 5 piece lip gloss set.

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Magical Makeup and Accessories

Storybook Cosmetics’ Wizardry and Witchcraft Eyeshadow Palette and Cosmetic Wizard Wands

Storybook Cosmetics has this beautiful, highly-pigmented eyeshadow palette.  It has 12 shades with a mix of mattes, metallic and pearl finishes.  The palette itself is protected by a gorgeous hardcover storybook case, which is just so awesome.  The palette costs US$52 and can be found on the Storybook Cosmetics website.

The brand also sells the most amazingly unique makeup brushes for US$55 a set.  Put down the unicorn and mermaid themed makeup brushes for a second and take a look at these….

Shiny and Shimmery

Blackened Metallic Liquid to Matte Lipstick by Black Moon Cosmetics

The new mattes that are hitting the market need to be metallic and fierce – and Black Moon Cosmetics hasn’t backed down from the challenge.  They’ve created 5 powerful shades from the color spectrum, which will inspire you to be daring and vivacious.  Buy them individually for US$18, or get the collection of all 5 for US$80.  You’ll also want to check out there gorgeous shadows.  Find it on the Black Moon website.

Coming Soon!

Colour Changing Creams by Chaos Cosmetics

snip_20170602224352.pngI don’t even think I have to describe how awesome this is…

Chaos Cosmetics is working on a line of colour creams that change with the temperature!  Even though no launch date has been released, the product is already garnering tons of hype.  I’m guessing this will eventually be sold on the Chaos Cosmetics website along with their many other heavenly, color shifting shadows and highlighters.

Check the video out on Bustle.com

 

And there it is…

I’m sure there is so much more, but for now these are just a few of my favorite things.   I hope they interested you as much as they did me!

If you have any unique products or brands that you think I might be interested in, put the link in the comments and I’m sure I’ll fall in love with those too.  Or if you’ve tried any of these, make me jealous and tell me how great they are.